It is easy to put the news on, watch the first 10 minutes with all the horrible things that went on during the day and think “This world is full of assholes.”
It is simple to be caught in traffic for an hour, get cut off and flipped the bird a number of times, see drivers scream at each other and think “This world is full of assholes.”
It is natural to work in a job like mine (public safety), or in customer service, deal with a bunch of people who give you a hard time about every stupid thing, complain about everything you did because of course “the customer is ALWAYS right” and think “This world is full of assholes”
It is perfectly normal to read the horrible, sexist, racist, offensive comments on pretty much every website ever and know “This world is full of assholes.”
It is almost impossible to go about your day without encountering at least one. A lot of us work with or for them, or live with or near them. They are on your TV, in your phone, on your streets, in almost every place humanity congregates.
Maybe at times you are even one yourself.
For a lot of us, myself included, after a particularly rough day you repeat over and over “People suck”
They are out, they are loud, and they are aggravating. And you cannot get away from them so easy sometimes. Some take every ounce of restraint to not turn around and introduce their nose to your fist. I had one of those myself yesterday at a Red Sox game, this Yankee fan sitting behind me was screaming and clapping in my face. If I was 22 instead of 42, I would have dropped him. Yesterday, I took about 200 deep breaths, remembered that being arrested because of some knucklehead I’ll never see again would likely leave me unemployed, and ignored him. Sometimes age and maturity really do work for you.
So we all get the point, assholes are everywhere, they are at a minimum an aggravation, and they get way too much attention and notoriety. For example, I just spent over 350 words just now ranting about them.
So let’s stop talking about them, because I want to try and make a more important point about our everyday lives.
It dawned on me earlier tonight when I got myself in a little bit of a situation at the beach. I somehow managed to fine the one parking spot with soft sand in it. My car managed to get stuck as I was pulling in. It was like winter came back for a few minutes. My front wheels burrowed into the sand and my car just about bottomed out. Of course I don’t have a shovel to dig out because IT’S SUMMER SO WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO DIG OUT OF ANYTHING? Fortunately one man saw my little predicament and called down the beach for help. Suddenly about 7 or 8 people came out of nowhere and helped push my car out of its little sand trap.
That would have been an embarrassing tow truck call, so needless to say I was very grateful. I wish I could have done something to pay them all back.
But it dawned on me as I kept pondering it through the night: this goes on a million bazillion times a day and we never really hear a whole lot about it. Mostly due to the assholes I don’t want to talk about anymore getting all of the airplay.
Why do we do this?
Why do we lock in on the cluster of jerks on the highway and not the Good Samaritan that pulls over to help change a tire in spite of needing to be somewhere themselves? Or the ones that gladly stop and let you go first?
Why do I remember the people who scream every bad name in the book at me on the phone and forget the parents who brought cupcakes because we helped find their children that were lost in the woods?
Why do we always let those with the stinging comments linger in our heads forever while we almost never dwell on the kind words and encouragement we get from most others?
Why do we do this?
Why do I do this?
Why can’t we focus our attention on being grateful for those who support us, or even those who took a couple of seconds out of their busy days to pay a complement, encourage us, thank us?
If we are all ultimately connected, then doesn’t it make so much more sense to focus ourselves on those who seek to build and to help rather than those seeking to hurt and destroy?
So what if we all started today to change that way of thinking?
For starters, we learn to stop paying heed to the assholes in our midst. We stop thinking about them, we stop arguing with them, we stop sharing stories about how this asshole did this and this asshole said that. Let’s learn to no longer waste our energy and oxygen on them.
(Of course this does not include those assholes that may possibly be putting you in imminent danger. That is different. You scream and keep screaming until someone, anyone listens. I hope people recognize this difference.)
Let’s instead praise those we see in our everyday living that do things, big or small, to help others in their communities. Those that are there to praise and build up others. Those that lead with love and light instead of anger and darkness.
Stop watching the evening news. You’ll learn everything you need to know anyway. Trust me. Look for pieces here and there that focus on the best of us, the good that we can and do bring to others in varying needs. These people and these stories really do exist.
When a bad situation does occur (and that is reality) they do and will), instead of giving anger and rage to those causing it (remember: negative attention is still attention; your rage at them is no different than you giving them a plate full of chocolate and red velvet cupcakes. They love it, they crave it, and they feed off of it.)
Instead, give our love and concern to those affected and give praise to those who run in and take on risk to be able to help others in these situations. Remember this quote from one of my favorite people to ever walk this earth, Mr. Fred Rogers:
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
Always look for the light. Always.
Becoming A Beacon 